Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
