i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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