I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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