Screwed.edu
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
