oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
