Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You pole danced in your parka.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
