I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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