what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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