He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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