this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You took a bar mat shot.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize