Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
