why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
