My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
