I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
