Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
