he shaved USA in his pubs
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
