But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
