the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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