The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
