Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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