We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
