Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
