she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
