i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Everything about him screamed your future.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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