come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
