she looked like the before picture.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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