He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
