I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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