I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
