Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
