oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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