It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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