Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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