yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize