hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
