Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
