I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
