I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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