my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
