Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize