i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Your topless pictures make me question reality
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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