would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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