Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
