wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm jealous of your bromance
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize