; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
