I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I supernannyed him into submission
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
