brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
