..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
