your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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