dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
