Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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