She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He called his prostate his "boner button".
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
