I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
