birth control should be required to get into college
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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