:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Can I color on your dick again?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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