I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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