I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize