My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
