He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
