I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
