i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
