I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
